Goofy Headlines

These were some headlines in today’s Jonesboro Sun.

“Boy Rescued After Being Pulled From Water”

> Wait – let me get this straight. They pulled him from then water, THEN they rescued him?

“Bono Preparing Annual Fun Day”

> So that’s how many times per year they have fun in Bono!

“John 3:16 Facility Helps Those Who Want To Help Themselves”

> For God so loved the ones who wanted to help themselves that he gave his only Son

“Judge Permits Use of Vehicle In Mudtown Fesival”

> What is a fesival?

“Snack Food Makers Sell Healthier Treats”

> Can something be “healthier?” If I ate two tablespoons of pure lard everyday and you ate five , then I suppose I’d be much “healthier” than you!

“Screenings Set Saturday”

> That’s it? That’s the headline for the story? Screenings for what? Will they be set ON Saturday – or are they set for Saturday? What?

“All Arkansas Firefighters Arrive For Convention in Jonesboro”

> Does anybody want to start a fire in Conway?


  1. Hey, what’s up with the newspaper kick? Did you start subscribing to the Jonesboro Sun or something?

    I thought your comment on the Arkansas firefighters gathering in Jonesboro was funny!

    I like reading the police reports where I live because they seem so , I don’t know…ridiculous. “At 10:20 p.m. a caller reported a barking dog” “At 10:02 a.m. a caller reported a stray cat” “At 2:13 p.m. a caller reported a dead skunk on Lancaster Dr.” and so on.

    I am thinking..”Now, don’t these callers have something else to do?” But then, if they did, I wouldn’t get to have anything entertaining to read about.


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