Discussions on the Way

I have been sitting and listening to people the last few days. I have tried to be less a “talker” and more a “hearer”. It is something that is very difficult for me, but I think it is a worthy endeavor – seeing how I tend to have an opinion about everything. But I have another agenda in this exercise besides learning the discipline of listening. I am listening for something in particular. I am listening to people’s thoughts about the poor. I am even finding myself bringing up the topic in order to provoke some thought. Of course, everyone I have spoken to is either middle-class or upper middle-class — not to mention, white. But that is okay, because I am not seeking a broad opinion. This is precisely the demographic I want to listen to.

To make a long story short, here are some of the comments I have heard :

“If they (poor people) would stop spending money on drugs, alcohol and cigarettes then they would be able to pay some bills.”

“It’s not fair to tax people like me, who work hard, to take care of the poor and lazy.”

“The democrats just want to hand out favors to everyone – doesn’t matter if it’s their own fault their poor or not.”

“If we’d keep the Mexicans out of the country, then we’d have a lot fewer mouths to feed.”

“We’ll never get rid of poverty – It’ll never happen.”

“Some people can’t help being poor and we should help them, but others want to live in poverty.”

“There are plenty of jobs out there, why don’t they just do them?”

“The mothers have children on purpose, to cheat the system.”

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So, after listening, I am ready to talk – and I have surpisingly little to say about it. So here it goes.

It is easy to blame someone else for the condition of poverty. It is hard to get involved in someone’s life and help them turn it around. Who is lazy now? Or is it not laziness? Perhaps we are simply better, more worthy, superior, more deserving. I once had a Marriage and Family Therapist tell me that there is no room for contempt in a relationship – but then again, who said anything about a relationship.